Today was one of those days when I couldn’t put myself to do anything. I had to segregate my tax documents, work on my college project and work on updating this website. However, the will to do any of it was missing. I spent half a day visualizing all of it in my head but couldn’t find an iota of energy to stand up and execute any of it. It felt kind of weird that just last night I was so motivated and now I can barely get out of my bed.
I spent the entire morning catching up on memes from back home. Okay, context time. The Prime Minister of India had announced a voluntary curfew by the public for Sunday and had also appealed to the people to come out in balconies and windows to clap and celebrate and honor the doctors and the health workers for their hard work and sacrifice during these testing times. Coming back to the story, well meaning people took this message a little differently and broke the voluntary curfew by taking processions out on the road. It is funny and painful at the same time that such small acts of innocence, which would be lauded in any other situation, is an act of stupidity in this one. You laugh at such news and articles, but deep down you know that someone has messed up.
I was brought back to reality when my stomach gurgled and that made me realize that I hadn’t left my bed yet. After dragging myself out of the bed, I resentfully freshened up, ate something and sat down to contemplate life, universe and everything before realizing that I already know the answer to it. 42! (Hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy FTW \m/). And just like how random that answer is, I randomly remembered a talk by an army veteran where he mentioned that in order to change the world, start by making your bed. I did just that. It made me feel good. So I took that idea and ran with it. I did my laundry, cleaned my room, shaved my beard and took out the trash. Basically, nothing productive but enough work to make me feel good about myself again. In that moment I realized that in order to stay sane, I had forced myself to be productive everyday. Even in normal circumstances, not everybody can stay productive all the time. Since I had been working from home, I had discounted my efforts on other days. However, I didn’t realize I was spending the same amount of energy mentally, maybe even more.
Eventually, today was a lazy Sunday in its true sense, where I was not supposed to be productive and catch up on all my weekly chores. Tax documents, college project and the website can be taken care of during the week. Not like I have anywhere to go.
In other news, day 3 was successful even if the day wasn’t so much, or was it?
If you are new here, maybe reading the previous posts in this series will give you some context. Stay safe. Take a break.